I first feel it when we`re doing a dry run on the beach — that sick, twisted feeling in my stomach that tells me I am once again getting into a situation beyond my capabilities.

Kiki, my surfing instructor at the Hans Hedemann surf school Sheraton Waikiki location, seems to have noticed that I`m turning green.

`Are you alright?` he asks.

Of course not. I`m in my 30s and not even close to being in good physical shape. I have two kids under the age of four and a family that raised me to know better. What the heck am I doing here risking life and limb learning to surf? `Fine,` I say.

Something in his smile, tells me he doesn`t believe me. But being a professional, he continues to show me and the two other students for the day — a pair of boys who look to be only slighter older than my own children — the dos and don`ts of surfing.

We each take turns assuming the various surfboard positions, which Kiki says will be key when we`re in the water. But even here, on dry land, I`m struggling. The boys, on the other hand, seem to be having no trouble whatsoever.

`First time?` one of them asks me.

`Yah. You?` I respond as I tether my ankle to the board.

`First time this year, ` he responds.

Great. I`m about to look stupid in front of 10-year-olds.

We head down to the water.

I look over my shoulder before jumping in and see Ish, my husband, video camera in hand, ready to record my demise. He smiles and I wave before putting the board into the water.

`Bye bye, honey,` I think, `Tell the children I loved them.`

And then I`m in. Lying on my board and paddling with my arms like a fish out of water. I look up and there`s Kiki motioning me closer.

Is it bad that I`m already out of breath?

When I catch up to him, he turns my board so that I`m in position and we wait for the right wave to come along. I decide we should chat to pass the time.

`I don`t see any sharks,` I say, trying to be cute.

`For every one shark you see, there are 10 you don`t,` he tells me.

Thanks Kiki. That`s helpful.

And then there`s no more time for talking.

From the moment Kiki says, `get ready,` my heart starts pumping. And with every `Paddle! Paddle! Paddle!` that he yells, it beats harder and faster, Then I feel the board lifting ... and then I`m in the drink. A few times.

With each fall, I get a little better and sometimes I even manage to miss hitting the board on my way in, but I always fall in.

After a while, I`m no longer worried about falling. I know that it`s inevitable and I just accept it.

And just when I`m thinking, `I know exactly how this is going to end,` Kiki is yelling again.

`Stand Up! Stand Up! Balance! Balance!` and there I am, for all to see. I am surfing and I am grinning from ear to ear. I`m up! I`m actually up!

And then I`m down. But I was up!

I am officially a surfer chick.

I have a strange desire to talk like Keanu Reeves, catch a wave and hang ten. I want more. I immediately understand why Bethany Hamilton, the 13-year-old girl whose arm was bitten off by a shark, continues to surf. It`s adrenaline-pumping, exciting and fun. It`s also addictive. Once you`ve managed to stay on your feet for more than three seconds, you want more.

For the 10 seconds that I am standing on water, I don`t care that my cute Nautica swim cover-up is hanging around my ankles or that my hair looks like it`s just been through a wind tunnel or that there may be dozens of sharks arguing over who gets dibs on me when I fall in. I feel cool.

I do it a few times before triumphantly heading into shore.

Kiki later tells me that out of the three students, I caught the biggest wave.

With my head held high, I head for the counter of the nearest shop. Hanging above the register is a pink T-shirt. It has a black girl sporting an afro-puff on the front. She`s holding a surfboard and the words `Surf Mama` are emblazoned across the front.

I fork out the $22 (U.S.) and try to ignore the look on the cashier`s face that clearly assumes this must be for someone else. But I have no shame. Why should I? Now I can say I did it and I have the T-shirt to prove it.

The Hans Hedemann Surf School offers lessons at several hotels across Oahu. Prices range from $50 for a one-hour group lesson to $400 for a lesson with Hedemann, a championship surfer. For information visit http://www.hhsurf.com